If you have lost someone close to you by suicide or you are part of a school or an organization where a loss has happened, it is a shocking and painful experience. NAMI Maine provides support and resources to assist people and organizations address the immediate needs of those impacted by the loss. We will also help connect you to the ongoing support and assistance needed.

Response and support after a suicide or other traumatic death involves planned activities with people affected by a recent death, in an effort to stabilize their environment, reduce the risk of negative behaviors (most notably the risk of contagion), and to ease the pain and difficulty of grief and the process of mourning.

While these interventions or activities are provided following a death, planning and preparing for these responses and support activities need to take place well in advance of a death. We do this by properly training all those who may be involved following a suicide or other traumatic death. This includes professionals such first responders, health facility workers, funeral directors, school personnel, organizational managers, faith leaders, and clinicians, as well as family, friends, volunteers, and the community.

Facing Stigma & Feeling Shame

Many survivors of suicide loss experience intense feelings of guilt and/or shame.

Believing that they could have or should have done or said something differently or that they didn’t do enough to prevent the death, some survivors experience a great deal of guilt. They feel responsible for the death of their loved one. It is rare that there is any truth to that, but that doesn’t stop someone from feeling that way. Experiencing such feelings and thoughts are very real and are normal reactions for survivors of suicide loss.

Survivors of suicide loss can also believe that others view them as responsible for the death of their loved one. Unfortunately, and despicably, there are people who do outright blame family and friends for the person taking their own life. This, of course, adds to the intense sense of guilt so many survivors already experience.

Shame is often the result of the way people in our society talk about suicide and the stigma society puts on suicidal behaviors. Suicide has been historically viewed as a crime or a sin. Because of this, whether real or perceived, many survivors of suicide loss feel judged and ostracized in their grief.

The majority of people in our society are extremely uncomfortable talking about any type of death. Unfortunately, this is accentuated in the case of suicide, leading them to avoid survivors of suicide loss altogether.

The stigma, the shame, and the discomfort of others tends to isolate survivors of suicide loss. These things put additional and unnecessary stress on those who are already in intense pain of grief. Survivors of suicide loss quite often end up feeling rejected by many community members, including people who were once considered friends, neighbors, and co-workers.

Societal attitude and reaction are slowly changing as people become more willing to acknowledge suicide as a loss. This presents a hopeful narrative to survivors moving forward.